Making the choice to be nice to others can sometimes be hard when in the moment or if we feel angered or upset. I say try to walk away or sleep on it as you may need to reflect on the bigger picture. I found girls to be difficult to create 'friendships' with when I was growing up, possibly made harder by going to a Dance School. I found I made friends with girls that would end up pushing me away or accepting a position behind my back or were willing to drop my name into something that we had done together. I found there was always a view of 'completing something better' than someone else or there was always 'well done but' to every statement I suggested.
We have all made friends that have ended up breaking away or we've fallen out with for some reason that at the time seemed huge. It is difficult as in life people have to move away or work takes them to different places or people change. I don't think we should blame ourselves for this as we are all trying our best to stay afloat and 'keep swimming' as Dory from finding Nemo would say.
Friendships should be a relationship where that person overall cares about your feelings and wants to ensure you are happy. It doesn't just happen in friendships. I believe it should happen in relationships too and from family members. I am very lucky to say I am with someone who comes home from work to tell me 'I'm beautiful and they have missed me' when I've been mopping around in bed all day and haven't completed anything. I have learnt that completion of 'tasks' doesn't account for how 'successful' you are. I believe inner happiness comes from your surroundings and I am surrounded by someone who appreciates everything I do. We shouldn't forget to thank someone for doing every day jobs as the minute they are gone we will miss them.
We also all have family members that can come and go. Throughout my life I have been pushed away from my Dad and his family. They have never wanted to know me no matter what I achieved or no matter where I am in England. Growing up this was difficult to accept and it made me want to achieve more to get them to realise I could be 'successful'. However, becoming an adult made me realise we are lucky to know people and should be thankful. I now don't live to get them to notice me but I push myself to see what I can achieve and to show the people in my life that have wanted to be here.
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and, at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best," Marilyn Monroe.
In the most recent years, I have been very lucky to find friends that will congratulate me if I have achieved something or are on hand to remind me to not be so hard on myself. I believe we should be spending time making people feel good about themselves as there are so many platforms out there to bring us back down. I have spent a lot of time seeking 'success' and wanting to please 'friends' when I realise it shouldn't take anything for them to be there. We can also empower others that are not classified as 'friends' by liking someones photo or commenting on a customers dress wear or makeup. I know when a waitress didn't write my order down in a restaurant and came back to ask I was confused but when she suggested it was because she was looking at my long eye lashes to work out if they were real I was very humbled.
Go out and apologise to someone you said something you didn't mean to and make up with friends that you fell out with. Take back a comment you said to a past ex, thank your current partner and reach out to those that are yet to confide in you. If you haven't been doing this recently, tomorrow is a new day and recent events in the news should be enough evidence to push yourself to do this. I always try to pay for someone extra on the bus, or carry someone's bag or bring lunch for a child. I always try to remind my other half and friends that I care about them and when they are down I will always pick up my phone to listen. Let's seek opportunities to praise others - what will you do today?
"In a world where you can be anything, be kind," Caroline Flack.
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