‘Finally, she realised she was going to be okay without him.’ This was me. You too will be okay without the person you thought was the one.
Remember sometimes it takes someone breaking your heart for you to realise just how much you had lost yourself. Sometimes, it takes hitting rock bottom and having nothing to lose for you to finally learn the lessons. It takes being reduced to being alone at home to begin to know yourself, truly. To find yourself in a gap between the last chapter and a new one that's unwritten. To learn what you’re made of and what you’re made for. I choose to heal, for me and me only. Because we are worth it, we’ve always been worth it, and we’ll always be worth it. But it took heartbreak for me to realise this.
Maybe you didn’t get what you wanted because you deserve way more. Maybe you feel like life left you on read and hasn’t responded yet. You need to realise that path was not for you. What is for you, is waiting for you to stop wishing for what you didn’t get. You have been wishing for average when great things are on their way.
It’s easy to sit and feel sadness watching Bridget Jones or Love Island while being single on Valentine’s Day when in your thirties. However, I am choosing to look at it very differently. I am embracing loving myself properly as I have never truly had time alone to do this. I am going to commit myself to making this the year the year I dedicate to being the best person I can be. I am pouring time into slowing down and journaling. Setting myself up new projects that I have been putting off. It’s a time for healing past trauma, preparing for the future, growing emotionally, embracing change being open-hearted to future opportunities, and going with the flow of where life is taking me. It has not been easy. I am now planning to run through any open door and stop using my energy to fight through closed doors.
‘I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand. Talk to myself for hours, say things you don’t understand. I can take myself dancing and I can hold my own hand. Yeah, I can love myself better than you can.’
I want to be the happiest I can be and learn the most I can about myself. This sadly meant going to a dark place to get to that point. I will not fight again for someone to stay in my life and see my worth. I am not going to settle. I have worked too hard to get to where I am, and they have to meet me here. Of course, there’s compromise to others but that’s different. I have realised I am only letting in a certain energy.
What happened has happened no matter whose fault it was. I am in charge of the next chapter – I can choose to live it with anger, bitterness, and resentment or I can choose to live it with happiness, hope, compassion, and excitement.
There is so much focus on romantic love. Yet platonic love can be so expansive. When you are with your close friends you can feel anything is possible. I have my friends and that is who I am. I have never valued friendship so much in the last year.
Remember today if you are having a bad day, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad life. There must be rain to appreciate the sunshine. There are two sides to every coin. Remember ‘someone somewhere is having the best day of their life today. Someone’s hearing I love you for the first time, someone’s going to meet the love of their life today, someone’s going to get the job of their dreams today. It’s someone’s best day today. And guess what, tomorrow could be your best day. So keep going.’
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