The Power of Fitness & Friendship
- Kerry Histed
- Apr 29
- 4 min read
Four months into 2025 and I continue to want to be the happiest I can be and learn the most I can about myself. I drew out another spider diagram of hopes and aspirations for 2025 which I have started quietly chipping away at. Sometimes, there can still be days that I wobble and must shake myself out of it, but I know this is important for growth. The greatest focus this year so far have been the power of fitness and friendship.
‘She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails’.
I found the activity of running in 2024 and have continued to push myself within this sport. Growing up and always being told I wasn’t good at sport. Or, being in the bottom PE set I felt I wasn’t much good. I was also always told that dance wasn’t a sport even though I would wake up at 5/6am to go to the gym before a 7–8-hour day of dancing classes. Gradually in running I have noticed I can push my distances or times which has started to give me the confidence to ignore that negative voice inside my head and trial out further sports. Achieving a marathon on Sunday was a huge moment for me to remind myself that I am physically capable of what others achieve.
I must admit I have become addicted to the feeling you get when taking part in anything physical. For the first time, I have managed to complete a deadlift and pullups which I have always been scared to try! Fitness has reminded me that I can do hard things. I have fallen in love with getting my body to move and push past negative thoughts. If my day doesn’t go to plan or I start to overthink I know that moving my body will allow me to get out of that mindset. During finding the passion for running and fitness it has also allowed me to start finding a new community.
During this year I took part in a 'London Night Lights run' after work and the run took me throughout London Bridge area. The run itself took me past restaurants and locations I had previously been on dates with my ex. And then, the final song we ended the run on was the acoustic version of ‘I want to dance with somebody’ which I had picked to get married to in December 2023. This moment of me singing my heart out while running with a new community felt surreal. I realised that if I hadn’t of been heartbroken, I would never have pushed myself to attempt challenges and activities I am now doing regularly.
In past relationships I’ve had men and men’s mothers make comments on me being too much. This was something that stuck with me for a while that maybe I spoke too loudly or too fast. Or that I needed to slow down and do less activities for them to approve me. Or even stop giving my truthful opinion to people when they ask for it? But I’ve realised what is too much. What is just the right amount? What do I need to do to be less? I’ve realised I cannot spend my life chasing this fact and that the right people make me feel loved for who I am.
I have found love. I genuinely believe that I’ve already met the loves of my life. It’s them. My best friends that have stayed throughout the past two years. They have seen lots of versions of me and supported me every time. I am so thankful for these friendships. Breaking up and truly being free has allowed me to pour energy into my community around me. I used to rely on the hope that a soulmate had to be romantic. That being with a partner was my only way to fill full and loved. Now I know they’re the friends who never let me go through life alone. They are the people that I speak to every evening when I’m having a wobble over my self-confidence, or something that has happened that day and I need to speak it out. My closest friends are all over the UK and have completely different passions, but they allow me to explore finding the best version of myself.
A surreal moment this year, will be I have booked to watch Calum Scott live in November with two of my wonderful best friends that I have met. To see a song that I listened to everyday on my Spotify before my relationship ended. When I used to listen to this song I felt alone and that I wasn’t being seen. Now, I am grateful for being seen and making plans with people that want to spend time in my company. I hope everyone has the opportunity to have friendship like this in their lives – these people make you feel seen and heard.
‘When life gets heavy, they will always be there for me when I’m lost. I’m lucky I’ve got good people, helping me out. Yes, I’ve got good people there when I’m down. I’ve got good people lifting me up when I’m low. I’m lucky I know – good people.’
I try every day to remind myself I have started over again and this time I’m not settling for a life that makes me unhappy. I’m starting to believe that just maybe I am in the right place, at exactly the right time and maybe I always have been.
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