Flirty, Thirty and Thriving. Kerry Jane’s Diary - 30’s Dating Life…

We’ve all watched the Bridget Jones movie’s, right? And we spent our viewing time laughing? Does anyone ever feel since being in their 30’s that her movies are actually more reflective and factual than first thought!

A few years ago, I hadn’t realised I’d lost my spark. The little drama pieces I would create to re-enact stories to my friends had stopped. The cheesy one liner come backs and dancing around the home had stopped. The colourful outfits and love of perfume and high heels I’d stopped wearing. In 2025 I decided this earlier version deserved to come back and stop fearing what others thought of her all the time. I didn’t need to try to hide away or change myself to be worthy of a partner’s love.

It's time to live. I decided this year I was ready to find out exactly who will be my life partner and start dating with intention. And that journey I released starts with lessons and discovery. And having Bridget Jane’s moments…

Lesson One: Complete Food Shopping Online

At the start of the year, I had finished work and thought I would buy dinner in M & S before I got home. On my way into the store, I catch eyes with a young store assistant who’s blonde and has blue eyes. I pick up my items and head to the till. As I try to scan my items, the red buzzer goes off. I quickly realised I was about to be ID’d and turned around to be faced with this earlier spotted store assistant. I quickly turn scarlet as he asks to see proof to buy Imodium tablets for my running race tomorrow! At this stage I rapidly gather my things and leave the shop learning I will order these items going forward.

Lesson Two: Exes are an Ex for a Reason

During spring it became apparent that friends were worried about an ex, so I then became worried if they were okay too. I then texted to organise a coffee – at which the universe showed me the answer when they didn’t message all day to arrange a time. Then, once a time was agreed he then ran late to attend. I then listened to his worries while then hugging his head in my chest. I offered support while realising inside all that was happening was triggering my own insecurities. The pain for the rejection, the pain for seeing someone you care about in pain and the pain in the ending silence. I paid for our coffees and parted our ways. This reminded me that you will know when you are enough for someone. They always knew you had the qualities of care when they rejected you. They don’t deserve the support and love shown. It taught me to remember to learn from mistakes and stop keep repeating the cycles. Love is about letting go of the past completely. And I learnt I won’t be dating male boys rather than men in the future. I don’t need any boys needing a mother to soothe them.

Lesson Three: There is a difference between Connection & Love

I grew close to an individual whose company I thoroughly enjoy and find very comfortable. We were spending a lot of time together and when not together we were also exchanging messages. We share a lot of common ground, and I started to become frustrated with the fact I didn’t want more. I felt I should be grateful for such a quality friendship. Then I realised that it’s okay to find friendship with men and common ground but for them to not be the one. I also don’t owe anyone anything for feeling that this is a good person but not my person. Sharing my genuine feelings to someone was the braver thing to do and I don’t have to be blame myself.

Lesson Four: You Don’t have to Work so Hard

I signed up for a dating show and got the call to say they had found a match. When I received this call, I was so excited and started planning my date outfits for the 3 dates. When I arrived at Date 1, I was surprised with having to make pancakes with this new person. From the use of a new pan and batter mix it didn’t work from the get-go! Producing a watery/burnt mixture in front of the camera was mortifying and I wanted the ground to eat me alive. Date 2 was drawing a portrait of the other person – and if anyone knows me drawing is not my talent. Similarly, I was presented with a very pink face with a spot of my cheek from the date at which the team reminded me to keep for future memories. On the last date 3, it was a romantic afternoon tea at which the date refused to eat any of the food – and I continued to eat the snacks (I love food too much). I became frustrated at myself that I didn’t seem to feel the connection with this person that I was expected to. I learnt that I will be the right person for someone and so will they. Love is about accepting differences – I don’t have to be the same person as the person I am dating.

Lesson Five: If it’s meant to happen, it’s going to happen.

Sometimes people come into your life when you least expect them to. On a trip I had booked and planned in Spring I ended up spending the full trip speaking to an individual. It was a trip I had planned with my best friend to challenge myself. We had completed a full 7-hour car journey there and then pitched up in our raincoats ready to climb. They shared their past and where they were currently at with their life’s journey. I continued to hide in my woolly bobble hat and eat my mini cheddars at 5am in the morning. After a 350-mile journey home I remember thinking that it was a connection the universe had brought upon me. When I returned home a message was waiting for me on social media. Love is about wanting and not needing.

Sitting at in the flat over Christmas 2025 in my new pink pj’s reminiscing on the lessons I have thoroughly learnt in love this year seems huge. Rejecting ex male figure’s random texts and offers to meet up and not requiring someone to validate my needs anymore. 2025 has been all about fitness and continuing to work on growth and learning about myself. I have had a year out from an intense two-year therapy course. The combination of working on my physical health and mental health has helped me find out what I want in different parts of my life. Loves requires attention but it is also easy with the right person. I am excited for the next adventures in love in 2026.