During the last six weeks of lockdown while only leaving the house to buy food or to go for a daily walk it has given me a lot of time to reflect. Also, with the approaching VE day this week, it again reminded me how lucky we are to have the lives we do have. There will always be someone else out there that needs your help and someone that is finding today particularly challenging that we should look out for. If life were a race, we would all be running at different speeds and making pit stops that take different amounts of time.
When growing up I always felt powerful remembering the famous Aesop fable of ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’. I have always known I might not be the first to win the most dance medals or have the most qualifications on my CV or even be the most skilled practically at jobs, but I have always held on to the fact if I work away at something slowly each day, I will accomplish anything I set myself. I have always started new jobs and new hobbies with the mindset of a goal to reach no matter how long it would take. From doing this over the last ten years I have realised there is a lot to learn in the journey of meeting a target or hitting an achievement over a long period of time. I have been immensely proud of myself for achieving many goals over the years as I know I started from scratch or from a point where people around me were puzzled why I was doing it.
It has not been easy as I do naturally seek adrenalin and am a competitive person when it comes to anything. I am the type of person who will create a competition out of daily chores e.g. who can hang up the most washing or who can complete the most emails. I have always felt I have to search for the new activity or new project I can set my mind too and have never enjoyed just sitting still in my home. Many individuals around me have been negative towards my habits in the past and my work ethic over the years suggesting one day I will go mad. People would state when I reach goals, I always look for the next as it is not enough and that one day this will drive me crazy.
We are consciously taught when we reach the end of goals, we will feel happy, whole, complete, and more successful. This can make individuals seek college, university, job promotions, marriage, and children to feel complete and successful in their lives. This image of the rabbit constantly chasing a carrot will not make humans happy. I believe this sets up individuals to already feel lost and insecure when they achieve these goals and they do not make them feel ‘whole’. When speaking to students at school or when teaching students dance, I always remind them they are capable of anything and do not have to follow the ‘set’ plan of going to university to be ‘successful’. I know that friends around me have changed jobs many times already since the options they took at university did not make them happy. It should be about the memories of being lost in occasions that we remember, and if something makes you smile then these are the occasion when we are ‘living’.
Do you know the video ‘To wear sunscreen’ Baz Luhmann? This is something I believe we should be preaching to any generation.
Earlier this year when I heard both my Ex’s were now engaged and preparing to marry, I prepared myself to be thrown off by this. But as this news settled in I realised this is something I want to happen once in my life. If it is going to be a decision for the rest of my life, then I want to make sure I do not race to get there. Marriage feels like one of those races we are all taught to compete in to reach the finish line wearing that beautiful white dress and diamond ring. I have already seen distant friends get married and break up over the last few years who at the time believed that person was the ‘one’. We will never be certain of the future, but I believe we should try to experience the most we can to be prepared within ourselves. I am yet to achieve the goals I have set for myself first before I reach thirty to worry about spending more money on a veil.
During the lockdown, it has made everyone stop and takes every moment in appreciating our daily walks and exercise. There have been many positives out of slowing down and allowing myself to not rush work and be creative with new project ideas. Working at 11 pm has become a memory of the past and scheduling time to make different dinner recipes is now what I do instead. It has also helped with health as it has allowed me to dedicate time to self-care and keeping fit and healthy each day. This period of isolation has made me question how fast I normally run with everything and the strengths that come with planning and reflecting on everything. I have decided I want to keep days off and my wellbeing as a priority in the upcoming years. It has also made me even more excited about saving for my future and saving to travel the world – I’d especially like to see the seven wonders of the world.
It can also be a tricky time looking around at everyone’s Instagram, Facebook and social media accounts believing people are doing ‘better’ at life or achieving goals better than I am. Has anyone else had this? I have found this has added to people’s anxiety and added pressure to keep up with others around them. After a week of feeling anxious about it, I decided to concentrate on small challenges focusing on doing things day by day. It is okay to be exactly where you are at right now. I choose tasks each day for me that I used to enjoy which has allowed me to feel I am doing well during the lockdown. If results come from me practicing hobbies I enjoy, or results come from being healthy then that is just a bonus.
I think it is important to have balance in life and to do what is right for you as an individual. I was not wrong to want to have adrenaline and I am not a crazy person to want to learn new hobbies and fill my day with work. But at the same time, humans should not be ‘unsuccessful’ if they have spent their day reading or relaxing and doing nothing. I think the important motto is to remember ‘the only way to truly win this race of life is to realise there is no race at all’.
We must find happiness with what is around us and if we find things in our lives that do not make us happy it is our own priority to change them. When you are alone, how do you feel about yourself? If you are constantly running towards the next accomplishment it will never fill you with life satisfaction as you cannot meet goals every day. It is important to be present each day and be present in the moment not distracted by our phones, TV, or the next tasks to do. I do try to notice each day that I am extremely lucky and am grateful for all the amazing opportunities I have.
Life’s finish line will, unfortunately, come to us all one day, but we all want to reach that finish line with a smile and contentment in our own selves that we lived it. This is your weekly reminder to enjoy your life – buy that new dress, call that long lost friend, play computer games all day or eat chocolate cake (lemon cheesecake if you’re me)!
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