‘You can’t just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream, you’ve got to go out there and make it happen yourself.’ Diana Ross. This is a quote I strongly believe in and often tell my close friends and family.
When I moved to London in September 2011 to take up a place in performing arts at Urdang Academy. I always had set in my sights to perform and then return one day to my hometown to settle down if given the opportunity. The first two years of living in Hounslow in London were very difficult and lonely - I used to count down the hours on the weekends as I didn’t have anyone to speak with. I moved to Conley Hatch Lane in Finchley in 2013 and started to meet new people through college and in the surrounding area which helped a little, but I still had no close friendships. Then, I moved to Bounds Green for six months. This was a difficult time as I was in a shared house with five older males who I didn’t know very well. Finally, in 2016, five years after initially moving to London, I went to view a double room above a shop in North Finchley. I walked in, looked around, and left. I walked about 30 meters down the road before calling the landlord straight back to say I wanted it straight away. It just felt right for the first time.
Once I settled in I started joining local musical theatre groups and meeting new people and I finally felt comfortable with my surroundings. I met one of my bridesmaids at a theatre I was working at during this time and we connected by sharing our similar journey to London. I found myself walking down the high street, bumping into people in local shops, and in social settings, and finally started to feel like I was building a group of friends. I then met Jack in 2015. He lived in the next local town, and I started to become very familiar with the area. I also formed further close friendships at a local summer camp which was lots of fun and finally started to get back out partying in London.
‘Your soulmate doesn’t just mean your boyfriend or husband. I have friends in my life who I believe I was meant to meet and be part of’. I am lucky enough to have both.
My landlord was also great, very friendly, and supportive which made it difficult to leave over two years later. Luckily, I had the opportunity to move into Jack’s mother’s home to try and save some money to buy a place of our own. I boxed up all my belongings from the flat. Most have stayed in the loft for the past three years.
During my time in Mill Hill, I have been lucky enough to continue to settle in and feel at home in the local area. To be able to walk around the local towns and go to local pubs on Friday evenings, to know the local walks in the surrounding areas or bump into children and parents in the local shops was amazing. I developed a weekly routine and would go to the same nail salons, and coffee shops and would continue to get to know people. I continued to throw myself into the local theatre groups meeting further like-minded musical theatre friends. It has been a truly lovely chapter of my story.
Since meeting Jack and I have been working hard to save money through our full-time and part-time work to put down a deposit for a small home together. In 2019, when Covid hit, we started looking for a place to have as our own. We settled on looking for a place that was between London and Hastings in East Sussex to be between both our families and friends.
In September 2021, we were lucky enough to secure our first home in Tunbridge Wells. It needed a lot of work including a new kitchen, bathroom, flooring, heating, and painting. It took a few months to get things in order and complete the work needed, but, this year in 2022, it started to feel real. Every weekend we visited, added furniture, and decorated. As the weeks progressed it became a realisation that I would soon, after just over ten years, be leaving London.
‘In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity,' Albert Einstein.
Friends are very important to me. I believe this came from wanting siblings and a larger family circle when I was younger and truly great friends can be the difference between a good week or a bad week.
It is totally cheesy to say but in the last six months in London, in my relationship and working my job role at The Compton School, l have never been happier. With this happiness has come the pain of leaving people who I have become very close with behind and moving to a new area. I am lucky to have experienced these friendships and the support those individuals have shown me in my eleven years in London.
I joined The Compton School where I learnt what being part of a ‘team’ meant. The individuals there truly make the job and champion me every day to try new projects. I have loved three years of working in a team that made me feel my personality traits were positive. This is also when I met Shelly, one of the other heads of year. She, her husband Martin, and their three children welcomed me and Jack into their lives as if we were already part of their family. Furthermore, I met individuals in other departments who at the end of every day have supported me and have made my journey at the school one I won’t forget.
There are difficult days now when I’m about to fall asleep or wake and I find myself worrying about the loneliness I felt when I first moved to London. I am scared I will return to feeling alone and sad once I move again and leave London. I also know that it takes the next step to move forward, and we all must face journeys that are unknown. I conquered London alone when I was very young so this new chapter should be easy. I know true friends stay as in the past I have had close friendships tested, but they have always stayed despite the challenges, the distances, and the late nights and early starts.
‘The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander.’
It will be difficult for both of us. Jack will be leaving his family home and the town he has grown up in. I will be leaving my friends and the place I have now called “home‘ since 2011 for a new town and new job. But I know that I need to trust the process and remember that ‘you are right where you are meant to be’.
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